I know this seems to happen with plenty of bloggers. For each new blog page made, another thousand bloggers abandon theirs. I hate that I keep posting about how I am going to post.
The truth is that the last few months have been a roller coaster of emotions, stress, and job insecurity that have seemed in part to consume me. The new year is a upon us and while I still have a job, I am being given a 33% cut in my salary. I can make do, but it is going to hurt. Not to mention the time and energy I have put into my day job. It isn't even because of my performance--this time of year is when the company "trims the fat" and cuts spending wherever they can. In my 5 + years I have never gotten caught in that part that gets "trimmed" till now. I suppose the higher you move the further you can fall back down.
I am keeping my eyes peeled for other opportunities, which has definitely been time consuming as well.
Every time I want to write, I open up one of my projects and end up just staring at the screen. This whole ordeal, has knocked the wind out of me. Normally I write well when I am upset, but this time its hard to put things like my mortgage, my car payment, utility bills- out of my mind.
So...I have been absent. I am doing my best to come back. If anything this situation has taught me that I can't just sit here...I have to keep on going and accomplish what I want. Maybe writing won't be something that I am able to do full time anytime soon, if ever, but I won't ever know until I push on.
I won't make any promises about the next episode, but expect it to start back up next month. I do need to focus on finishing my first draft first and foremost, secondly I want to get back to regularly posting here. I suppose you could call it a new year's resolution, but I don't make those because most you never keep. No...this is more a commitment to myself. If I don't do this I will be selling my self short. I will be still relying on the same people that have screwed me over at work to define my future... not myself.
So.....are you defining your future?