I know this seems to happen with plenty of bloggers. For each new blog page made, another thousand bloggers abandon theirs. I hate that I keep posting about how I am going to post.
The truth is that the last few months have been a roller coaster of emotions, stress, and job insecurity that have seemed in part to consume me. The new year is a upon us and while I still have a job, I am being given a 33% cut in my salary. I can make do, but it is going to hurt. Not to mention the time and energy I have put into my day job. It isn’t even because of my performance–this time of year is when the company “trims the fat” and cuts spending wherever they can. In my 5 + years I have never gotten caught in that part that gets “trimmed” till now. I suppose the higher you move the further you can fall back down.
I am keeping my eyes peeled for other opportunities, which has definitely been time consuming as well.
Every time I want to write, I open up one of my projects and end up just staring at the screen. This whole ordeal, has knocked the wind out of me. Normally I write well when I am upset, but this time its hard to put things like my mortgage, my car payment, utility bills- out of my mind.
So…I have been absent. I am doing my best to come back. If anything this situation has taught me that I can’t just sit here…I have to keep on going and accomplish what I want. Maybe writing won’t be something that I am able to do full time anytime soon, if ever, but I won’t ever know until I push on.
I won’t make any promises about the next episode, but expect it to start back up next month. I do need to focus on finishing my first draft first and foremost, secondly I want to get back to regularly posting here. I suppose you could call it a new year’s resolution, but I don’t make those because most you never keep. No…this is more a commitment to myself. If I don’t do this I will be selling my self short. I will be still relying on the same people that have screwed me over at work to define my future… not myself.
So…..are you defining your future?