I will admit it. This is one thing I am always trying to break. Sometimes when I am writing my drafts I don’t even realize I do it. I tell the reader what is happening, how someone is behaving. I don’t show them. As I am giving the Mistaken draft another once over before handing it off to be edited again these things just glare up at me.
He had an angered expression.
Hmm…well what the heck does that look like?
He stared at her, his jaw tense,eyebrows knitting together as a fiery rage flickered behind his gaze.
Yeah I think even if it isn’t perfect…the second one is a lot better than the first.
So just like derby…when I think I am done and giving it my all… I realize I actually am holding back on what I really am capable of.
Time for more editing huh?